So I’m kinda nervous hitting “publish” on this post. Talking about divorce seems taboo and I don’t want to make a spectacle of the topic in my blog. However, I’ve been collecting my thoughts about this topic off and on for a long time now (I started writing it almost a year ago) and I have officially turned the page on this chapter of my life. So I think it’s only fitting that I have a conclusion here on my blog as well.
But the primary reason I’m posting this is because I received A LOT of emails from people when I let you guys know I was getting divorced from readers who were going through something similar. So I really just want to reach out to those readers to give you guys an update <3
When I got married when I was 23, I NEVER in a million years thought I would end up getting divorced. I knew marriage would not always be easy and I did not have some unrealistic expectation of a fairytale life when I got married.
Going through a separation and divorce has been the most difficult experience of my life. It honestly still hurts to think about everything that went into making that decision and going through that process. I was so ashamed and embarrassed. I cried every single day. I went months without getting a full nights sleep. My life was just a hazy blur for a long time.
So many people who have been divorced had told me this, and I eventually found it to be true for myself: When I was in the middle of it all, things felt really awful. Like the kind of awful where I didn’t know how I was going to keep going. But eventually the storm started to pass, and I felt like I was going to make it. And then one day I just kind of realized that I was making it and that life goes on.
Now that everything is said and done, I can only look back on things and say this: we all only have 1 life to live and we deserve to be happy. As long as you are not wreck less with other people’s feelings then it is okay to let go of something that is not bringing happiness to your life. I’m not just talking about a relationship… I’m talking about anything.
I was so worried that people would judge me for getting divorced, and in the end some people did. What can I say? Shit happens. Worrying about pleasing other people is not a way to live life. My ex and I are much happier now that we are no longer married to each other and for that, I will gladly wear the Scarlet D.
There are simple things that I really did not know about myself until I was single. In hindsight, I wish I had taken the time to get to know myself, my adult self, a little bit before I decided to share my life with another person. It would have made me a better partner.
So in that respect, it has been very important to me to take time to myself now to focus on living a more simple life, working on my hobbies, spending lots of time with friends, and just taking care of myself. I thought I would miss the companionship of a relationship and feel lonely, but I’ve actually really enjoyed this time alone. I feel relaxed and happy.
Being single and divorced is not exactly where I saw my life as I’m getting ready to turn 30. I had literally spent every moment of my adult life sharing everything with another person, and then all of the sudden I was on my own. The thought of it was scary to me and I just really wondered if I would be okay.
But I have found that I am okay. I’m actually more than okay. Have there been things that I didn’t know how to do on my own? Sure. But I figured them out. Or I asked for help. There are some things that I’m still figuring out, and that’s okay, too. My friends and family have supported me in so many ways and I love them and am so grateful for that.
I also realized that even though it has felt like it at times, I’m not really starting my life over. Just starting a new chapter. One filled with strength, happiness and lots of life experience. And I don’t think that’s so bad <3
Something I have really learned throughout everything is that there is some sort of peace in letting go of something that is not meant to be in your life. And if anyone out reading this is going through a hard time, whether it is a break-up or something else, I would like to say this to you: you are smart and beautiful and strong. Life sucks sometimes but you have to just keep going. I promise you that you will be okay <3